24 Aug Week 7: ARP (6th Red Flag – Your Loved Ones Hate Him)
Hello Relationship Warrior and welcome to week 7 of The Asshat Recovery Program online.
If this is your first visit and you want to start from the beginning CLICK HERE.
This week I reveal Red Flag #6 that you might be dating an Asshat and need to run for your life in order to find Real Love!
While women are more than capable of being non-commital, mind-messing Asshats, because I’m a woman and, sadly, not gay, I will use the male pronouns (he, him) to refer to the Asshat. Just substitute “she” and “her” when applicable.
The people who really love you, like family and friends, also really, really dislike your guy.
This is a story about my client Patrice. (Not her real name and she gave me permission to tell her tale.)
None of Patrice’s friends or family liked her new boyfriend Eric. The few times they’d met him he was sullen and withdrawn and they’d already heard one-too-many stories of his inconsistent, unreliable behavior from Patrice.
But there was one family member who literally lost her mind when she first met Eric.
It happened over the Christmas holidays. The plan was that Eric and Patrice were supposed to go to her sister Jenny’s house for Christmas Eve so Eric could meet Jenny for the first time.
Eric had spent the last several weeks coming up with excuses not to attend, but Patrice somehow managed to get him there.
When they arrived Patrice’s sister opened the door with her one-year-old daughter Paige riding on her hip.
The baby took one look at Eric and began shrieking at the top of her lungs, as if she were being electrocuted by a cattle prod.
Patrice’s sister apologized profusely, saying Paige was probably still tired and she’d try to put her back down to nap.
A few minutes later Jenny re-emerged with Paige saying she wasn’t tired after all, but before she could finish the sentence Paige saw Eric and started shrieking again in sheer terror.
Eventually Patrice and Eric had to leave because Paige simply couldn’t be in the same room with him without falling apart.
Was Paige able to sense the inner-toxic where Patrice was completely blind?
You know what they say about kids and dogs …
I recognize this incident might have simply been a fluke, but if you discover that the people who love you and who make you feel safe (and this may not be your family if you come from an abusive, neglectful background, but it might be good friends you’ve carefully selected as an adult), if these people don’t like your man, you need to pay attention to that.
They are not sexually addicted to him like you are, hence can see him as he really is, without the rose-colored glasses intimate trysts can bring.
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